“The Lesser of Two Evils”

Monday, February 11, 2019

Bible Reading: Proverbs 21

Proverbs 21.9 – “It is better to live in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 21.19 – “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”

I thought it curious that twice in this chapter, the wise father warns his son about the effects of living with a quarrelsome woman. In fact, he says it would be better to live in a cramped space or a desolate place than have to endure a woman like that.

Let me just say up front: this is not a message directed at women to tell you to act right. I know better than to do that… and besides, I don’t think that’s what the father is implying. Speaking from wisdom (and probably some life experience), he is pointing to an everyday struggle that many people face.

Do you see what the father is trying to say? By her actions and speech, this woman is creating an environment that encourages the man to be discontent. The father clearly paints a “lesser of two evils” scenario that doesn’t benefit anyone.

What I see in these Proverbs, from a broader perspective, is a lesson about the power we have to affect others with our words and actions. Did you notice the emphasis put on how these negative interactions affect the relationship? Someone who is quarrelsome and fretful is exhausting to be around and doesn’t add value to others. Their negativity encourages others to look for a way out, even if it means choosing the lesser of two evils.

This is risky territory for me… so I’ll tread carefully. I certainly think there is a lesson here for wives about how they speak to, and treat, their husbands. Paul wrote, “…let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5.33b). But that goes both ways. The husband also has a responsibility to “love his wife as himself” (Ephesians 5.33a). There is a need for both parties to behave properly and considerately towards the other.

Do you consider the effect you have on those around you? Have you thought about what kind of environment you are creating in the home by your words and actions?

I know we don’t set out to be a quarrelsome or fretful person, but we can easily digress into that when we become discontent and reckless with our words. We must be thoughtful and intentional in how we speak to and treat others, especially in our marriage relationships.

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